Growing up as an athlete, you easily realize that no two coaches are exactly alike. Coaches can be loud with a huge sideline presence, push you past your limits, not make playing your sport easy, make you question your love for the sport, be your biggest cheerleader, always have an amazing coaching point, and make you love the sport so much. While you advance in your field hockey career – whether you’re moving to a new team, beginning the club field hockey journey, or going through the college recruitment process – understanding how to manage all these different personalities is one of the most important skills you can develop.
Throughout my field hockey journey, moving around and adjusting to new environments meant that I had to adapt to new coaching styles constantly. I learned that building strong, respectful relationships with your coach doesn’t magically happen – it means showing up, staying open, and speaking up for yourself.
Building a great relationship with your coach can transform your game – here are four key lessons that helped me grow as a player and a leader.
1. Communication is a Two-Way Street (Take the Initiative!)
Waiting for your coaches to come to you is always easy, but reaching out first shows real maturity and dedication in you as a player.
Because I trained from a distance through most of my career, face-to-face feedback wasn’t always an option. I had to improvise, so I compiled videos of my games, workouts, and home practices to send to my goalie coach, Christina “Stivo” Walker. She’d reply with written notes, a phone call to dive deep into technique, or links to drills that helped me refine my game. Reaching out with video made a huge difference in my development as a goalie.
If you see your coach regularly, try asking for a short 1-on-1 check-in before or after practices. Coaches truly respect athletes who take charge of their own growth.
Tip: Reach out during downtime, like a water break. Say: “Hey Coach, if you have five minutes free after practice this week, I’d love your input on what I should focus on in additional training.”
2. Shift Your Mindset on Constructive Criticism
Hearing criticism from coaches can feel personal when you’re giving 100%. However, the biggest turning point in my career was realizing feedback is a tool, not a punishment. If a coach corrects your stickwork or goalie skill, it means that they see your potential and want to see you improve.
As a goalie –the last line of defense– it’s easy to feel like every goal scored is my fault. I’ve had to learn that field hockey is a team effort; win or lose, it never falls to just one person. The same can be said for offense working hard to score in tough, low-scoring games. Being the best player isn’t about being perfect – it’s about taking that feedback and using it to strengthen your training.
3. Asking the Right Questions When You Advocate for Yourself
Every athlete faces frustrating moments throughout their career. This could be struggling to understand your role or fighting for playing time. How you handle those moments shows your true character as a team player.
Instead of asking defensive questions like “Why am I not starting?” or “Why didn’t I play that half?”, try asking questions that focus on growth:
- “What specific skills or habits can I show in practice to earn playing time?”
- “What can I improve on to better support our tactical strategy on the field?”
Your difference in tone will show your coach that you are focused on the team’s success and ready to earn your spot.
4. Adaptability Builds Recruitable Athletes
Learning to thrive under different coaching styles builds adaptability – a key trait college coaches look for in recruits. Recruiters aren’t just evaluating your field hockey skills; they’re watching your coachability, how you handle constructive notes from various coaches, and how quickly you can adjust on the turf.
Embracing every coaching style you encounter is great prep for the next level. Communicating effectively with different personalities today will benefit you far beyond your playing days.
Final Thoughts
Glancing back on my journey - from navigating new environments to finding ways to connect with coaches – I realize that every conversation and piece of feedback has shaped me into the athlete I am today.
Not every coach is perfect, and not every coach is meant for you. What it comes down to is how you as the player navigate that relationship. Everyone is bound to encounter a coach that makes things hard, but how you choose to respond to that situation will reflect on you as a player.
Developing strong relationships with your coach doesn’t happen overnight, but taking that first step to initiate conversation with them can truly transform your gameplay completely.
Each piece of feedback and advice I have heard from so many coaches in my career has led to me the player I am right here, In the Cage.
